My apprenticeship with John G. Boehme has thrown me into the deep end of my practice. Today was important because I spoke with John about how, on Wednesday, there were tears with my morning coffee.
Performance Art hits all my insecurities. It hits all the things I love about myself. All the things of which I am wary. My problematic relationship with empathy, vulnerability, and judgement are concepts central to “Edification, Enjoyment and Participation”, 16 discreet, planned performances involving 49 conventions of performance art which will weave their way through Art in the Open tomorrow night. Why wouldn’t I cry? If these things matter to me, if they move me, then without question they are of the utmost importance to my growth as both a person and an artist.
On Wednesday (and again today) some of the tears were about feeling profoundly grateful for this experience and about being proud of myself for being so brave.
The week has been filled with all the things I love about studio practice. Sorting, sifting, processing, reviewing, laying things out, making lists, making piles, planning, making new piles, putting things in boxes – physical boxes and the ones in my mind. The joy in all work that matters is that it involves palpable moments of learning. And so on Wednesday and again today I cried about that too.
How blessed am I that tomorrow I art in the open with a performance artist and mentor I have grown to love and admire in a remarkably short time? How blessed are all of us for the community that makes Art in the Open – and practice pivoting apprenticeships – happen?
Tomorrow we art in the open. I’ll be there in a series of honest moments in time. Maybe you will see me.